Posts by rose petal

62

Have You Divorced And/Or Remarried- What Did You Learn From It ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

in seeing a lot of posters threads , i feel i see many people who have been divorced at one time , and either have remarried or have stayed single .

i totally understand those who choose to stay single, as i was single for 6 years before i got married again !

as experts say, next to death it's one of the hardest experiences you'll go through !

rose petal

My leaving the dubs was part of my marriage breakdown. The first time I married very young, so the next time I was determined that I would put my best into the marriage. He was abusive, manipulative, etc. I talked about this a couple of days ago (see previous posts).

I walked out of the marriage with $1500, so it's not always the men that get burnt. I just figured it was worth it to get rid of him.

Parly due to a medical condition and partly because of the trauma of the abuse I was celibate for 8 years. I had no libido, so sex wasn't a problem. I just didn't want a man to look at me. I learnt to depend on me, I learnt to like me, I improved me. Then I had to have surgery. Previously I had refused blood, like a good jw, but this time I didn't sign the papers. The surgery went wrong, and I had to have bucketsful of other people's blood.

This may sound incredible, but it's true. I felt like a new woman. I got my libido back, which presented some problems! I got my energy back. After dating for a few years (that's another future post) I met a lovely man, who treats me with respect. He is a friend as well as a lover.

The moral of this story is - don't jump into the next relationship, get to know you first.

rose petal

31

Did you leave for more than ONE major reason ?

by JH in

jw
friends

i hear people say they left the org.

for this or that reason.. in your case, was there more than one reason why you left ?.

i left because there was a lack of true love towards me.

rose petal

I finally realised that my (now ex) husband had no intention of changing his abusive, manipulative ways. You know, in the mags they would give examples of people being wife-beaters, drunks, etc, and through becoming a witness they have changed. When my ex starting being abusive, I honestly thought he would be like one of these examples and see the 'error of his ways'.

Fast forward a couple of years, and the situation was the same, he had no incentive to change. He'd scream at me and the kids all the way to the hall, saying the most disgusting things. Then he'd get out of the car, Mr Righteous. I finally saw that he had no intention to change, it wasn't my fault he was the way he was, it was his choice, he could turn his anger on or off.

I went to the elders for help occasionally. They disfellowshipped him when he abused them. I stayed a witness because it seemed the only thing to do. I wasn't allowed to leave according to them. I eventually thought, the hell with this. I was isolated from everybody in the cong because it was public knowledge what he was like.

One day my mother said, do you want to spend eternity with the likes of them? I thought, good point, and that was it. My ex tried everything to make me go back, and be under control, but I wouldn't go. I started to play him at his own game, some psychological mind games. He left. I had no money, but it was bliss. And it's been bliss ever since.

rose petal

12

So what does the av jdub do with all the "old light" books?

by rose petal in

hi, posting on another thread, i asked this question.

i would like to know - what do they do with the 'old light' books?

does it not occur to them that they have a pile of books that they are not allowed to read?

rose petal

Hi, posting on another thread, I asked this question. I would like to know - what do they do with the 'old light' books? Are they just dust-collectors?

Does it not occur to them that they have a pile of books that they are not allowed to read? What about the bound volumes? Do they read them?

rose petal

54

What has everyone done with your literature, now that you've left?

by momzcrazy in

i have boxes of literature upstairs.

i was waiting for bookshelves to get built in our new house, but now i don't want to put them all up.

i have sentimental things, like ones that were my dad's.

rose petal

I think my hypocritical ex-husband has them all. He likes to impress the bros when they come around - "look how spiritual I am". I've been out for nearly 20 years now - what do all the jdubs do with the old literature if they are not allowed to read it? Shall I make that a topic?

Also, as a librarian I doubt that any jdub books donated to the local library would make it as far as the shelves. The librarians make decisions on what to include based on - authorship (nobody claims authorship in the WT books), bias (not even going to bother to explain that), public interest (who's going to read that crap), currency (is the info up to date, oops, new light).

rose petal

24

tell the board some embarrassing secret from where you live

by ninja in

jw
friends

ladies and gentlemen....i give you.....the krankies

rose petal

Fifi40, I remember Showaddywaddy! I just can't remember what they sang!

I live in Ipswich, which takes over where Brisbane, Queensland, leaves off. Nothing ever happens here. The only thing I can think of is what passes for entertainment on Saturday night for the youth around here. They go lapping, which entails having a fancy car and doing laps around the main streets. A loud speaker system is a must, I understand.

The local police are not happy with this, and impound any car that doesn't conform to the safety rules.

rose petal

26

Poor Excuse for an Apostate

by Mum in

jw
friends

when i tell anyone i am considered an apostate, they usually think i'm joking and fall over laughing.

after thinking about it, i can understand why.

my lifestyle would prompt a farmyard chicken to take up another interest.

rose petal

Hi, well, I'm a terrible person, apostate-wise. I'm a librarian upholding people's rights to free speech and access to information, work for a children's charity, have nevered smoked or done drugs (before, during & after jdubdom), hardly ever drink (one drink then don't like the taste), have beautiful grandchildren and great friends.

Now here comes the bad bit - I live with my boyfriend and we are not married!!!

rose petal

3

Jesus' mother saying thanks but no thanks

by rose petal in

jw
friends

i've been thinking about this for a while.

to all the lurkers out there.. ok, jesus walking around, saying that the jewish traditions, religion, etc, has been fulfilled, supplanted, by "new light" (let's keep the analogy going).

his mother follows him around, listening to what he has to say, goes along for a while.

rose petal

I've been thinking about this for a while. To all the lurkers out there.

OK, Jesus walking around, saying that the Jewish traditions, religion, etc, has been fulfilled, supplanted, by "new light" (let's keep the analogy going). His mother follows him around, listening to what he has to say, goes along for a while. What would Jesus have done if his mother had said, Sorry, but I want to go back to the Jewish stuff, thanks but no thanks?

Would he have said, fine, I love you but I'm not talking to you anymore, it's for your own good. Every jdub should ask themselves this question. And then ask themselves what kind of religion am I in that does this stupid, destructive and useless action.

Not that I'm a Christian, don't think about religion these days. But I think that if one professes to be a Christian one should ask in any given situation - what would Jesus do?

My two cents,

rose petal

42

What did you not like about the paradise?

by reneeisorym in

jw
friends

i have always loved it when the seasons changes.

i was always told that we would have temerate weather all of the time and the seasons wouldn't chage.

i always thought i would miss the changing leaves, budding flowers after it has been so cold, and the snow.

rose petal

In the beginning I kind of liked the idea of living forever, but my mother put it very well.
She said - you want to live forever with this lot?

rose petal

25

How can I help my JW son?

by Maddie in

how can i help my son?.

after speaking with my son (a jw) today, i realise that he has many hurt feelings that he hasn't dealt with.

his childhood affected him more deeply than i realised because he hasn't really opened his heart like he did today.

rose petal

Maddie, I am in the same boat! My ex was abusive, my son withdrawn. When my son and his girlfriend broke up he started talking to an elder. Instead of therapy he starting going to the meetings! It's funny, he hated going as a kid. He won't talk to me (da'd, faded, whatever) and I just hope he snaps out of it. rose petal

33

What's reasonable to expect on a first date?

by serendipity in

i've been on online dating sites for a while, have exchanged emails with over 100 guys (politely saying "thanks, but no thanks" to the vast majority) and went on dates with a few.

i'm generally disappointed in the emails these guys sent and have been disappointed in the dates.

i'm not sure if the problem is with my expectations or if there is just a lack of communications skills and courtesy among people.

rose petal

Serendipity, go with your gut instinct. I've been on heaps of dates with guys from online. Remember, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince. I did, and I had given up looking! A few words of advice - just have fun, don't go looking for a prospective partner. rosepetal